Say YES to Drugs

I've passed my thirty week threshold. This means I have less than ten weeks to go. This can be converted to two months, nine and a half weeks, single digit weeks, sixty-five days, or simply, closer to freak out time. I've been pregnant for over thirty weeks and have daydreamed my way through. I've fought the itchies, constipation and gas, food cravings and aversions, and getting rings off of swollen fingers. I've wrestled with pillows and hormonal outbursts. I've devoured sappy movies, boxes of cookies, and super-sized french fries. I've avoided raw fish and mirrors when naked. 

In all of these changes, I can say there is one thing that I have not done; faced reality. Somehow, as pregnant and swollen as my belly is, I forgot to face the fact that with pregnancy comes labor. In my bedside drawer I have seven different books all about pregnancy. Pulling them out one by one, I've noticed something in common with the bookmarks. Not one of them has made it passed the seven month mark. In my la-la-land, there is no pain, there is no labor, and there is no squeezing elephants out of my lemon! I will simply "have" a baby. And by "have" I mean it will magically appear in my arms. A stork will arrive. My head of lettuce will sprout a child's head. The nurse will place a baby in my arms and say, "Now wasn't that easy."  Is it really so wrong to daydream of a pain-free labor that does not stretch out and ruin my nether region? I'm only human after all. 

I believe that my pain threshold is relatively decent. However, I can only imagine that it is fairly natural to fear the unknown. Unknown as it is, I know there will be pain. I also know that sometimes, it is OK to say YES to drugs.