How am I, You Ask?

How am I, you ask?

I am wonderful. I am enjoying this little creature creeping and crawling inside my little belly. Truly, I am. However, for those of you tilting your head and saying with those oh-so-sympathetic eyes, "Really, Jess, now how are you?" I must give you the honest truth. 

FRIKKIN' HORMONES! I have more pimples than an adolescent girl before her period. My body chemistry has not just changed, but has walked away from me. It has resulted in my deodorant ceasing to acknowledge my body and simply walking away. Today, I used my husband's deodorant. Yes, full sport, sweaty man deodorant. And what's worse, it actually worked. The only problem was that my sensitive nose was constantly looking behind me thinking I was being followed by a pack of overly scented adolescent boys new to the deodorant band-wagon. 

Now, let us discuss this beautiful weather. I have always loved this warm weather beyond reason. But today, on my ten minute walk around the block with my dog, I came back not only exhausted, but dripping in sweat, and panting along with my dog. So quickly the heat has gone from something I covet to a near nightmare. I actually fought with my dog for a place on the cool bathroom floor. 

And all the while as the hormones build on to this sexy image that you now hold so dearly of me, remember this. Your mind plays tricks on you while you sleep. I wake up having dreamt about sex, only to realize that it's just too hot out, and I'm just too sweaty. 

So here I sit complaining as something else happens. My little guy kicks. He kicks again, only this time rolling some extremity right across the width of my stomach. Somehow, every complaint, every pimple, every drop of sweat just fades away to nothing and all I'm left with is a smile, and my hand lingering on my ever growing belly.