Kick Your Way In

If you ask any mom about the first time she felt movement, it is generally explained as butterflies or pitter-patters from within. For the last four weeks I've sat, I've waited, I've concentrated, and I've even tried meditating. Now for a girl who just can't sit still, this took quite a bit of focus and determination. Still, I felt nothing other than digestion and my heartbeat pounding in my head. All the while, to remind me of this disappointment, I was being told by numerous mothers that they were so connected to their babies that they felt it right away. Here we go again, being set up to question motherhood before it has even begun. Nevertheless, I pushed it all aside and waited.

Although pregnancy shows to the physical eye, it is easy to forget in your daily activities. I feel great, so it easily becomes a passing thought. So while out to dinner, the indigestion to come from a curry-based dinner was hardly even a passing thought. After dinner, as I was sitting through a movie, it hit. Out of nowhere without any warning, there it was. But this indigestion was nothing like I've ever felt. This was a full on attack of not my bowels, but further in than I have ever felt. It actually came in such force that I actually jumped from my seat with a gasp, and then a smile. This was not indigestion. This was my son saying,"Hey Mom! Back off the curry! And by the way, nice to meet you."

Being that I often daydream about my future son's personality, I can only assume that this kick is a direct link to his personality. Normal or not, my husband and I have always played the What-If Game. What if he has my husband's huge head and my tiny body? What if he was both of our stubbornness and my husband's childhood defiance? What if he has my little wrists on Marc's big arms? Or worse, my size 5 1/2 feet on Marc's giant calves? This game entertains us for hours. And with this first huge kick as the first movement I felt, I can only go back to this game. What if this kick is a direct correlation?"Hello world, here I am! Look at me! Hey Mom, move on over cause I'm here to kick and scream my way into your life!"