To begin with (my pregnancy).

I've had several friends and family members frequently ask about the silly little nuances that come along with pregnancy. While giggling over life's "side effects" a friend recommended blogging. For those of you who are interested, whether it's to compare your own stories, or to wonder, with horror, where your future may take you, or for the man who simply has no idea, I'll be writing about my nine months of pregnancy. Family and friends beware - I won't be censoring my words. Pregnancy comes with gas, with pains, and with hormonal mood swings that will send any man hiding and I'm here to share and laugh at my own expense. Please feel free to join me in this journey.  

Being 17 weeks in, I'll have to recapture the first trimester in memory.  

After peeing the fourth time within a two hour period, I found myself wondering if I had developed a bladder infection or if pregnancy side effects really happen that fast. Upon telling Marc that I was either "knocked up or suffering from the fastest explosion of a UTI ever" he laughed at me and claimed that no one knows that quickly. Lo and behold ladies - YES I DID! As a matter of fact, 6 days after having sex I secretly took a pregnancy test. Of course it said "Not Pregnant" but I knew the truth. The day before my period was due, I tried again.  Even though I already knew the diagnoses, I still screamed like a little girl and had to immediately take a second test just to be sure. 

Within the next week, the scale never changed, but my pants yanked at my waist and my stomach bloated like a balloon. The gases trapped inside of me were intolerable. I think it was at this point that Marc actually turned his head completely around on his shoulders when he realized that his wife was replaced by a farting and burping machine. No way to hide it. It's either love me in whole, or leave the room. F.Y.I - things have settled down in the second trimester. But, learning from the first trimester, I can now laugh and appreciate anyone else's gas. Having to hide it can be excruciating. And I hear that it just gets worse in  the 3rd trimester!

Trying to keep this short, the other most notable thing to mention was the sonograms. Due to my medical history, our first sonogram was at barely 6 weeks. And there was my little dot. In disbelief, staring at a poppy seed doesn't actually help to fill the maternal instinct. Flash forward two weeks and the dot has a pulsating heart beat. I didn't see it, Marc did. Have you seen that episode of Friends where Rachel couldn't make out her baby in the sonogram and thought she was already a bad mom? Who knew I could relate. Marc saw it. The doctor saw it. The assistant saw it. I didn't... This was still just a dot. 

December 17 - 10 weeks: The baby is an alien tadpole. More than doubling in size, it was becoming more real, but still inhuman. There were arms and legs that belonged to a tadpole, and there was a head that had protruding eyes like an alien. But it was mine. It was my alien frog and I knew I'd love it no matter what. 

January 9 - 13 weeks (and beginning 2nd trimester): It has a heartbeat, it has a spine, it has a brain. And according to my mother-in-law, it has my profile. I then began laying on my back at least 20 minutes a day waiting to feel something. All I felt was my elevated heartbeat.

January 22 - 15 weeks: An assistant did this sonogram. Once the head technician walked in and took a look she asked if we wanted to know the sex. Yes!! "It's a boy" - and there it was. Although still a bit early to find out, our little boy was wide-legged and ready to show the world (or Mom and Dad) his goods. My eyes swelled with tears and the only thing I could think of was, "Why am I staring at the back of Marc's head? Why won't he look at me?" After a moment of hormonal rage accusing my husband of not caring, it turns out he was having a "masculine" moment. Not wanting to be seen with tears in his eyes by strangers, it finally was real to Marc too. This was our little boy, but this was his little football player. 

And so now we are caught up. Next blog- more exciting news. My boobs are bigger!!